Random Thoughts
This is going to be a really random dump of all my thoughts lately- because I’ve had a lot of time
to think lately ;)
I am SO in love with my babies. So. In. Love. I look at them and I feel like I could cry I love them so much. They are my entire world and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve been struggling for a while now and I’ve talked about it before but just struggling with not feeling like myself and not knowing who I am outside of a mom anymore, and that has been really difficult! But - during this quarantine I have been lucky enough to be home full time with my husband and my kids - and we’ve been able to just hang out and it has been really great. Tom has been able to be home a lot which has been nice, we’ve had a lot of family time- but he’s starting work again soon- yay! Of course there’s been days and moments (like tonight when I tried to bathe all three.. no. Just. NO.) but I am so grateful for this time to just unplug and BE. No appointments, no play dates, no feeling guilty for skipping the gym (again.) I said to tom tonight - this quarantine is the first time we’ve sat down and had dinner all together at the table. Usually we feed the kids and then tom and I eat later but we’ve had time to sit down and all eat lunch and dinner together. It’s been really nice! Anyways - I started to think that it’s OK they are my whole world and how thankful I am right now that I DON’T have a job that I’d be struggling to do work from home with or have to be away from them and out in the public possibly exposing them to this scary virus. So, maybe life has a funny way of working out. Although I do miss our families terribly, and that hasn’t been fun at all. :(
Also I feel like I’m becoming more of an introvert which is soo weird for me to say! I love people. and I really love my friends. But I have been forced to stay in way more with three kids - even way before this craziness happened - and I’ve just really started to enjoy being home and away from the noise. All this staying in hasn’t been as hard for me as I anticipated. The unknowns are what are giving me anxiety right now. What about the economy? When will things be back to normal? When will I feel safe letting my kids go out? What happens if this virus hits someone I love? So many thoughts and it’s really overwhelming at times. I just want to protect my little people from everything and I feel safe at home in our little bubble. I wonder sometimes too what life will be like when this all
Settles down. No one really knows. It’s just all so weird. I don’t even know what other word to describe it but weird.
A couple of weeks ago it hit me that 2 years ago, we lost our third babe. Baby boy. I think about him often, what he’d look like, would he look more like Samuel or Elliott? Hard to think about. Two years. That seems like a lifetime ago, when we couldn’t get pregnant and I was so depressed and wanted nothing more than all we have now. I still remember the grief every time we got another negative test, it is all so surreal now though to think that I have three perfect for us babies sleeping peacefully in their room right now. Tom and I have talked about trying for another baby, and truthfully I am really torn in it. I hate how fast the triplets are growing, and I just don’t know if we are done growing our family. I feel like we could be complete now but I am also open to making us an even family of 6. How crazy to think about?! 2 years ago we were mourning loss number three and here I am saying maybe we will be a family of 6 someday. Good grief!!
I am going to go a whole different direction now because why not. This is just a random post and I figured I’d blog it rather than just thinking about everything all night! I am going to share my top 5 Unpopular opinions on things I do or don’t like that others do. I’ve seen it going around Facebook (with 10, but I don’t want to work that hard haha) and I think it’ll be fun to look back some day and see if anything’s changed!
1. I don’t like steak. I just am not a big meat person.
2. I don’t really like HGTV. I like to decorate my house and do projects but i is t really ever watch things and get inspired by them.
3. I don’t mind cleaning the kitchen - in fact I enjoy it. It actually kind of relaxes me to wipe everything down and put all the dishes away before bed.
4. I hate buffalo sauce. It’s too spicy!
5. I really don’t get the whole Star Wats obsession. It seems really complicated and it’s just too much.
I can tell you tom doesn’t agree with 1, 4 or 5, but he loves that I love number 3 hahaha. I’ve been spending a lot of time with him lately, obviously.
This is all, I have quite a few things to update on baby wise for their 14 month post. Holy cow... 14 months... time goes too dang fast. Gosh I am so proud and lucky to be the mama of Elliott Samuel and Molly.
to think lately ;)
I am SO in love with my babies. So. In. Love. I look at them and I feel like I could cry I love them so much. They are my entire world and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve been struggling for a while now and I’ve talked about it before but just struggling with not feeling like myself and not knowing who I am outside of a mom anymore, and that has been really difficult! But - during this quarantine I have been lucky enough to be home full time with my husband and my kids - and we’ve been able to just hang out and it has been really great. Tom has been able to be home a lot which has been nice, we’ve had a lot of family time- but he’s starting work again soon- yay! Of course there’s been days and moments (like tonight when I tried to bathe all three.. no. Just. NO.) but I am so grateful for this time to just unplug and BE. No appointments, no play dates, no feeling guilty for skipping the gym (again.) I said to tom tonight - this quarantine is the first time we’ve sat down and had dinner all together at the table. Usually we feed the kids and then tom and I eat later but we’ve had time to sit down and all eat lunch and dinner together. It’s been really nice! Anyways - I started to think that it’s OK they are my whole world and how thankful I am right now that I DON’T have a job that I’d be struggling to do work from home with or have to be away from them and out in the public possibly exposing them to this scary virus. So, maybe life has a funny way of working out. Although I do miss our families terribly, and that hasn’t been fun at all. :(
Also I feel like I’m becoming more of an introvert which is soo weird for me to say! I love people. and I really love my friends. But I have been forced to stay in way more with three kids - even way before this craziness happened - and I’ve just really started to enjoy being home and away from the noise. All this staying in hasn’t been as hard for me as I anticipated. The unknowns are what are giving me anxiety right now. What about the economy? When will things be back to normal? When will I feel safe letting my kids go out? What happens if this virus hits someone I love? So many thoughts and it’s really overwhelming at times. I just want to protect my little people from everything and I feel safe at home in our little bubble. I wonder sometimes too what life will be like when this all
Settles down. No one really knows. It’s just all so weird. I don’t even know what other word to describe it but weird.
A couple of weeks ago it hit me that 2 years ago, we lost our third babe. Baby boy. I think about him often, what he’d look like, would he look more like Samuel or Elliott? Hard to think about. Two years. That seems like a lifetime ago, when we couldn’t get pregnant and I was so depressed and wanted nothing more than all we have now. I still remember the grief every time we got another negative test, it is all so surreal now though to think that I have three perfect for us babies sleeping peacefully in their room right now. Tom and I have talked about trying for another baby, and truthfully I am really torn in it. I hate how fast the triplets are growing, and I just don’t know if we are done growing our family. I feel like we could be complete now but I am also open to making us an even family of 6. How crazy to think about?! 2 years ago we were mourning loss number three and here I am saying maybe we will be a family of 6 someday. Good grief!!
I am going to go a whole different direction now because why not. This is just a random post and I figured I’d blog it rather than just thinking about everything all night! I am going to share my top 5 Unpopular opinions on things I do or don’t like that others do. I’ve seen it going around Facebook (with 10, but I don’t want to work that hard haha) and I think it’ll be fun to look back some day and see if anything’s changed!
1. I don’t like steak. I just am not a big meat person.
2. I don’t really like HGTV. I like to decorate my house and do projects but i is t really ever watch things and get inspired by them.
3. I don’t mind cleaning the kitchen - in fact I enjoy it. It actually kind of relaxes me to wipe everything down and put all the dishes away before bed.
4. I hate buffalo sauce. It’s too spicy!
5. I really don’t get the whole Star Wats obsession. It seems really complicated and it’s just too much.
I can tell you tom doesn’t agree with 1, 4 or 5, but he loves that I love number 3 hahaha. I’ve been spending a lot of time with him lately, obviously.
This is all, I have quite a few things to update on baby wise for their 14 month post. Holy cow... 14 months... time goes too dang fast. Gosh I am so proud and lucky to be the mama of Elliott Samuel and Molly.
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