22 months / Samuels surgery

22 months... and 10 days till Christmas! Can't hardly believe that it's coming up so fast. We are settled back at home after an eventful week last week with Samuel's kidney removal surgery. Thank goodness all is well and he seems to be recovering pretty well now. 

Elliott- 

 He is starting speech therapy this afternoon, via zoom. I am looking forward to seeing how it can help him communicate with us. He is also enrolled in a program at Fraser, which is a big children's mental health clinic in MN, called "early beginnings" We meet with a therapist weekly on Monday afternoons (also via zoom) who helps guide me through play therapy to increase Elliott's social and play skills. There are a few things that he seems to need some additional help on and we have seen some progress. He is so different from his siblings- they love being the center of attention and are loud and proud, whereas Elliott prefers to be in the background. He does really well playing one on one, but in a group setting he tends to shy away. He is not speaking much at all, he says a few words here and there but he will not say anything when asked. He said ball yesterday for the first time and it was so exciting! I think being a triplet for him will be a bigger struggle than the other two. I am so proud of the work he's done and I can't wait to watch him continue to shine in his own way! It's been fun to having some set one on one time with him each week. He is really in tune to feelings and vibes, it's interesting. Last week, the day before Samuel's surgery I was a wreck. I was extremely anxious and was trying to get everything done for the day, it was a hard day. Elliott was so clingy towards me and spent most of the day screaming and demanding to be held. It was so hard - but it just reinforced to me that he is really picking up on the energy around him. He knew something was going to happen and didn't feel in control of it and that made him extremely anxious. He and Molly slept over at my parents that night and my mom said he had a major meltdown once I left but after about 20 minutes he was ok, and did great the rest of the time. 

Samuel- 

What a week he had! Tuesday, Dec 8th was his kidney removal surgery, along with them re-routing his ureters to his remaining kidney to help alleviate the reflux. It was scheduled for 6 hours. We knew it was the best option and had a great chance of success with low chance of risks, but with it being 2020, we didn't know what to expect. We also were not told much of what to expect for recovery because they said at this age, all kids are SO different and all heal at various rates. We were told to expect 1-3 nights in the hospital after surgery. His surgery was scheduled for 8:30 AM, with an arrival time of 7. Because of this early wakeup, the other two spent the night at my parents. We were told that both parents could be with the child during surgery so Tom and I went together with the plan for Tom to leave later that evening and I'd stay with Sam. We checked in and they told us the visitor policy had changed due to covid and.... only one parent was allowed to stay.  That was super frustrating, as it changed our plans, and I wanted Tom to be with me while we waited. Tom left and I was there alone with Sam. Then, the hardest news was that I could not be with him as he went under the anesthesia. Insert tears here! So sad, he is only 22 months old and had to go into a huge surgery alone. It wasn't explained well to us that was going to be the case, so I was upset but I understand the nurses and dr's are all doing their best. 

He didn't end up going back till 9:45, and they gave him a sedative before so that he'd leave me without a struggle. He was so funny! He was so loopy and was giving me kisses, and could barely hold his head up. It helped me with him leaving to have a few funny moments before he left. He went back without any tears and I was left to wait. ahhh, it was so stressful! They called me a few times from the OR and then both surgeons came to give me the report once they had left. All went great, no complications! I was so relieved and couldn't wait to see him! They let me see him in recovery and I scooped him up and snuggled him tight. He was only wearing a diaper and I could see where had some incisions. He was super tired and slept most of the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. He didn't seem interested in eating or drinking but they said that was normal and he also had the IV for fluids and pain meds. Tuesday night he started to wake up a bit more and started to have a lot of pain. He was having bladder spasms which would cause his whole body to tense up and him to cry in pain. He got some meds for that but the night was pretty long and he was very uncomfortable. He only wanted to sleep with me so we shared the couch. The next morning he woke up and seemed to be doing pretty well, he didn't eat much but was drinking some liquids. They decided he would go home on several meds, and I was relieved as I knew how tired we both were and thought he'd recover better at home. 

The rest of Wed he didnt eat much, and drank very little. He slept well though and seemed to be doing alright considering! Thursday came and he again wasn't drinking much and around dinner time he felt warm, so checked his temp and it was 100.7. We were supposed to call if it got above 101 but combining him not eating or drinking much we called, and by the time the on call dr called us back it was up to 101.5. They decided we should bring him in, so we headed back to Children's. I am so glad we went in because he was severely dehydrated. The ER dr said that we were definitely staying the night and he was crying hard, with no tears. The concern was that his remaining kidney needs to stay really hydrated and his blood work showed that he was heading towards problems. So, they got him started on an IV right away, did a covid test, and tried to get a urine sample. That posed a major problem as he has a stent coming out the tip of his penis. So, putting a catheter in was out of the question. They ended up trying a few things but nothing worked that night and the poor guy was SO upset they thought they could leave it till the next day. He was exhausted and so agitated. Also, the IV was placed on his thumb sucking hand, which I know for the future to NEVER DO. It was AWFUL. I think I cried just as much as he did during that stay ;) He was sooo upset and could not settle himself down. He was biting himself, hitting, screaming, flailing, for hours. HOURS. The nurses were not able to help because it wasnt anything related to the kidney or surgery, he just wanted his thumb. We tried pacifiers, didn't help. The next day we were told we'd be here another night or two more just to keep him hydrated and until he was drinking enough on his own. Luckily, it was only one more night but it was so rough. This room didnt even have a crib so it was just him and I in the hospital bed - him stuck to an IV and was starting to feel better, which is great but so hard! He wanted to be up and moving and was getting so frustrated that he couldn't. I was so relieved when they sent us home the next day. It's now been one week since the surgery and I am so happy he's doing really well. He is still having the bladder spasms but they are much more manageable, and he is getting his stent out on Friday, which should completely stop the spasms. Thankful for the great care we got. We will find out in 6 weeks via ultrasound if the work they did on the Right kidney was successful. The anxiety for that should kick in about 5 weeks from now ;) 

Molly- 

Oh Miss Molls. She is so funny, and so sweet. She has been such a trooper through all of the drama we've been having with the boys - but of course not without her fair share ;) Her wrist/elbow look great and she got to take her brace off about a week ago. So far no issues and she hasn't tried climbing out of her crib again! We did get a crib tent which she hated at first but now it's no problem and it gives me a peace of mind putting her in her bed. I am NOT ready for her to be in a toddler bed yet so this buys us more time. She is talking a lot- it is so fun to hear. She loves babies and whatever toy her brothers are playing with! Seriously - she gets so upset when they take her toys but she is constantly taking theirs. Poor girl with two big brothers! She is so sweet though and loves to snuggle. She will hold her hands out to have you pick her up and it’s the cutest thing. Her favorite person is my dad. It is so fun to see how much she loves him! She asks for him and gets so excited when he comes over! 

We had a pretty quiet Thanksgiving - didn’t see anyone as we were worried about the upcoming surgery. So we just had some dinner with 5 of us and went to a Holiday light drive thru - the kids loved it! Molly got to sit up front with me and thought she was super cool :) 

Toms been busy doing some side gigs while being laid off for the winter. No snow yet so he’s been able to get some other things done. He’s also always got a project of his own happening, so that keeps him busy. It’s been nice to have him around more, especially this week and last for the surgery. He will probably start doing some more projects after the new year. It’s nice to have him home but sometimes I need to remind myself to let him dad the way he wants ;) I am so used to being home and doing things myself. It’s a work in progress, but I am thankful he loves us and works so hard for us year round to afford the life we have. 

As we go into 2021 I am hoping to be able to do more, as we all are, I’m sure! I am hoping to get back to the gym for myself and my mental health. I really am missing that break in the day and the opportunity to do something for myself. Plus the covid weight gain is real... ugh! It’s been tough to juggle three kids at home, lots of appointments and the surgery and all that entailed but we are all healthy and that’s really all that’s important. Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and is able to celebrate however this year allows.